The Bash Bros.

01/30/2070 02:07

A pair of Trolls who came up from the Trogs street gang, they hit it big when they were brought into the shadow community as heavy muscle. A combination of strength and subversive technological know-how enabled them to profit from any run. They knew they weren't cut out for leadership positions, but offered their services at a high rate for any teams willing to meet them. A serries of successes netted them fantastic paydays and a solid rep for any run they said they could handle. Their wealth is often spent on implausible-yet-useful gear, such as their now-signature matching bulletproof kilts, elaborate Goldberg-style trap systems, and melee weapons packed with shaped charges.


Their reputation as mid-level runners is fueled by some of their more extraordinary exploits, which have attained a kind of cult-status and created numberous fan-pages on P2.0. Some of these legends include:

* During an active alarm within the confines of the Seattle Aztechnology Pyramid one of the brothers acted as a distraction while the other leap onto a ceiling-mounted auto-turret, pulling the gun free of it's casing and then rewiring it so that he could fire it. The stolen Vindicator Minigun is supposedly still kept in their hideout as a trophy, a trigger never installed. The Brothers claim it's more fun to cross the wires themselves.

* After angering a previous victim, a beautiful Elven hitwoman was sent after the Bros. The one who was seduced first had literally been caught with his pants down when she tried to use a poison slap-patch on him. He noticed it before she had time to apply it and, instead of initiating combat or moving to block the strike, used his in-depth knowledge of the Kama Sutra to overwhelm her sexually. The story varies as to whether she decided to show him mercy out of a sudden burst of romantic feeling for him, or if she was terminated by an aneurysm caused by orgasm.

* Acting as bodyguards for a famous pop star, the two could not wear heavy armor, but expected to be assaulted by heavy weapons. The Brothers applied a spray coating of Dikote to their dermal deposits, temporarily rendering their nigh-bulletproof. They claimed it was worth the removal surgery to keep her safe, and the starlet remains their friend and, according to them, little sister, to this day, visiting them whenever she comes to Seattle.


What is know is they specialize in shock-and-awe tactics and environmental manipulation, and are generous with their paychecks with the local neighborhoods and bars, making them quite popular in the city and almost folk-heroes to some.


The Brothers are almost indistinguishable from each other (a remarkable feat for Trolls), and refuse to identify each other by alternate handles. They just seem to know which Bash Brother you need when you call for them.

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